IMG_0633Yesterday was a low for me. The weight of it all broke me. I found myself sobbing uncontrollably as I drove, ugly crying, angry crying. I was over making the best of Rett Syndrome. Over traveling to Boston. Over our daughter being a research project. Over all of the logistics involved trying to help the families out there in Rettland. I wanted to quit it all.

I sat on a bench in a heavy fog looking out at the water. There were beautiful yellow flowers that popped with their vibrant color and dolphins that frolicked on the edge of the kelp beds and all I could do was try to breathe. But I did, over and over until I was able to call a friend and chat for a bit. Afterward I was renewed enough to eat and finish the work that I had scheduled before falling into a deep sleep of physical and emotional exhaustion.

It’s a new, still very hard day. Then I saw this image and I was reminded of how it is days like this that refine. All of the pressures of life in Rettland could break me or they could refine me into something wilder than my dreams. Today I am striving for that. Still, I am living under a lot of pressure, to those of you that are around and taking some of that off, thank you, that is the true beauty in Rettland.


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