It is the last day of school and I am buckling up for what is about to be one hell of a ride. It’s already been a long week. Claire sobbed yesterday morning at the discussion of going to Boston. The initial excitement is gone and now it just feels like she is getting shots and missing out on fun with her friends while she is out-of-town. Add to it, she sobbed. Typically, when she gets this emotional she has a seizure and falls into a deep sleep and I don’t have to address the issue of how hard it all is with her. I can yell at God, cry into my pillow and get over it while she rests. Not this time. She was so present, so regulated and still tormented by her reality. It was one of the hardest things I’ve gotten to deal with yet, my child sad that we have to go back to the hospital. We cried together and eventually the Beatles brought the smiles back, she is a sucker for All You Need is Love and Hello, Goodbye.
With both the girls at school I got about my business and tried to make a rental car reservation for our time in Boston. I was doing well until I discovered that the airport locations were sold out and the sketchy companies that had cars were charging three times over what is normal. That is when I broke. My mind swirled with the million things that need to happen before we leave at noon on Friday. Laundry, cooking, reservations, bills to be paid, work for the foundation, I need to shower, packing for the two trips and the overnight that Chloe will have so that we can leave by 5am on Monday morning and all I want to do is curl up with a basket of onion rings and sob.
I had nobody to cook for me so I pushed on and so glad that I did. Great things are happening with the Rettland Foundation. When I am not overwhelmed and watching the world swirl around me, I am overjoyed at the awesome that is about to come from our little project. I say all this not to complain or brag about what we’ve accomplished. I say this to ask for help.
You see, I know that we are at the end of our rope and we are not even half way through our marathon. We need a little help from our friends, the Beatles can carry us for a bit but we need help. Between now and the end of June our little family of adventurers will be managing more than we normally do and it is hard, really hard. If you have ever wanted to do something to encourage Claire or Chloe now would be a great time. They are both so brave and take on so much. As always your comments are appreciated, reading them in the hard times goes a long way. We are adventuring out to where it can feel very lonely, the reminders that we aren’t alone really mean a lot.
If you love somebody else out there in Rettland, remember that it isn’t just the big trips that are hard. It isn’t just the hospital stays or extra appointments with specialist. It is whenever there is a series of waves closer together. When you have been treading water for this long, just a few extra small waves can be more than you can handle. Be gentle, be supportive. Thank you.