A year later

A year ago I was sitting in a hotel room alone with Claire, crying my eyes out. Jared and Chloe had flown home so she could be at school for the first day of kindergarten. I was heartbroken to miss that day. I was heartbroken to sit and give Claire the last shot of what I suspected was a medicine that was helping her. It was an incredibly hard and painful lesson in living with what you can control.
It sure is a lot easier to look back, knowing that you’ve made it. We didn’t just make it, we lived wild and alive and vulnerably. With a little distance from the crazy I can say it feels awesome. It’s a blur and surreal and I’m very tired but it’s awesome.

Today we marked the end of the summer with a special breakfast and meet the teacher day at school. Both girls were thrilled with the new teachers and the friends they have in their classes. I never in a million years thought this would happen in my life. It just all felt so normal. I kept thinking; I don’t feel like puking, this is weird, I’m fine.

I’m just going to go with it. I know that there will be plenty of harder days ahead, I don’t need to sit in the pain of the past. I can revel in the goodness of today and be hopeful for tomorrow.