It was three years ago today that I did the single scariest thing in my life so far. Claire and I flew to Boston for 24 hours to apply to be in a clinical trial for Rett Syndrome. It was a hard trip. She stopped breathing on the flight a few times and had seizures in the hotel room late into the night. There was amazing pressure to show up at the hospital at 8 am, fasting, ready to pee in a cup and answer what felt like a million questions. It was a short walk from the hotel, I pushed the wheel chair down the steep icy sidewalk with one hand and towed our carry on bag behind me. I was on so little sleep and so much adrenaline. If we didn’t do this, then what, nothing changes and that seemed even scarier.
I look back at the trip now and realize how much it formed the rest of my life. It was the day that I realized I could do really hard stuff. I broke in so many ways in Boston that day and somehow, I grew back stronger because of it.
Since then, I’ve had plenty of hard days, but now I can always say, this is easier than flying to Boston with Claire for 24 hours. I am reminded how on that difficult trip, we met some truly wonderful people and found the strength that came from broken and leaning on people that loved us.
It felt lucky to be going to Boston to change the history of Rett Syndrome on St. Patrick’s Day but it was so much more than that. We tackled the scariest thing in the world, gave it our best shot and it was one of the best decisions ever.
Do you have something scary on the horizon? It might not feel like it, but you can do it. If everything in your world is smooth sailing for now, I dare you to change that. Find what seems impossible and go for it. Looking back, I am so glad we did and I know you will too.