Wild

Holy cow 2015, that was nuts! I just reread my post from the start of the year. I set out with the intention: grow slow. In hind sight, I have to say that is hysterical. 2015 was the year that we grew by leaps and bounds. We literally moved and nearly doubled the size of our home sort of on a whim. The base of supporters for Rettland Foundation grew far greater than I had dreamed of and we are set to do some very cool things in the future. Personally I learned more than I thought my brain could handle. It was a huge year of growth and also of seeing the world with less of a filter. Through the various ups and downs I found myself continuously uttering; wild.

When I make my list of most notable moments, I didn’t see any of them coming. Not one. What I learned most of all is that when you live and love hard, it gets nuts. As much as it hurt to do that, I want more of this for the upcoming year. I haven’t the faintest idea what that will look like but I know it will be wild and I’m going to embrace it.

Last year we sat with a new doctor and talked about how a drug could effect Claire and our treatment goals. That is just wild, nuts, crazy, beyond what I had ever dreamed of what could happen. It’s just crazy to think of what happens after that. I honestly can’t even conceive. Maybe things get better, perhaps they will get worse.

A very big part of me wants to just freeze it all where it is right now, safe and relatively smooth, pain that I know how to navigate. Yet as much as I see the value of caution, I have to choose wild. I know I’m signing up for hurt with the joy, exhaustion with the exhilaration but it’s all too good to avoid.

I’m a little scared for 2016. It’s bizarre to step forward realizing how clueless you are, but that’s what I’ve got to do, so here goes!

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