Growing up Thanksgiving was my favorite holiday. We would go to my Great Aunt Claire’s house, there was always lots of food and family, occasionally some extra friends as well. After the meal there was some combination of football and A Christmas Story on tv, there was golfing (we lived in Arizona) and my favorite, playing cards. Aunt Claire was my hero and those times are among my most cherished childhood memories. I grew up and life got complicated. Aunt Claire passed unexpectedly from a heart attack, my career had me working holidays and then we moved to California.

Thanksgiving was never the same but it was still my favorite. Then out of nowhere, Claire gets diagnosed with Rett Syndrome which was weird because her hands worked so well. November 2007, 6 weeks after the diagnosis the three of us went to some restaurant in Santa Rosa. Claire fed herself Thanksgiving dinner and the next morning she woke up clapping and staring at her hands, she hasn’t fed herself a meal since.

Since then Thanksgiving has been a tough one for me. It’s hard to sit and count your blessings when deep hurt is so fresh and the only thing you can feel is isolation.

This year, I’ve got a different perspective. My word for this year is ‘unless’ and it has led to the wildest, better than I could have ever imagined year.

2007 was the year Claire last fed herself, unless she starts to again. The thing that I have most figured out is that I really have no clue what the future holds. I didn’t think that I’d ever start a company more or less a non-profit. I didn’t think I’d still be married and what we have now is richer and purer than anything we could have strived for. I didn’t think I’d ever have a drug to give Claire to help with the mess in her brain but in 2015 that could happen.

I don’t know how that will affect her and if she will regain any hand use but I’m not ruling it out. I’m going to live like the future of Rett syndrome is unknown because it is. The only thing I know about is what’s happened and what’s going on right now.

Claire often has seizures on holidays so we aren’t planning a lot. A simple meal of ham, potatoes, corn bread stuffing and brussel sprouts cooked with bacon. We will decorate for Christmas and watch movies and enjoy what we can. Who knows, this could be the last Thanksgiving that Claire can’t feed herself. Now wouldn’t that be a fun memory!