Of all of the things that are hard about life in Rettland, recently it’s the little ones that have really gotten to me. Not just the million little details like picking up prescriptions and remembering when to go to which appointment and following up with multiple insurance companies. It’s the other little stuff, the little stuff that Claire doesn’t do.
Today we got to go on yet another fun adventure. Claire was invited to an afternoon on the Oneill Sea Odyssey. She was pensive in the morning as she often is. On the way there she smiled and even laughed a little when her favorite song came on. As we arrived she returned to her more common serious state. Still she seemed excited and happy to be there. Once we got her jacket and life vest on she was less happy. I assume it was just because she was uncomfortable. Maybe she was just super relaxed by the sounds of the water and the sail in the wind. Perhaps she was sea sick. I don’t know. I don’t know what she would have picked when it was her turn to drive the boat. Where would she pretend to take us? Hawaii or Fiji maybe Rapanui? Those are the little things that crush me.
Then I look again at the picture of her at the helm and I see her fingers gently wrapped around the wheel. It’s those little things too. She held on with soft hands and stood strong. Today she was able to do that. Tomorrow she might not. Regardless of what she was thinking, where she was taking us and what bothered her most, today I know that for the most part she enjoyed it. That is what her gentle Mona Lisa smile told me. The rest remains a mystery.