Dear Claire,

I can’t believe that you are turning 8 today. It seems like just yesterday that we were driving to the hospital, excited to hold you in our arms. I had so many dreams and hopes for you. I wanted to see you stroll in a garden and pick flowers for your hair, hear you learn to play an instrument, perhaps a cello and teach you to cook all of my favorite things. I’ve had a hard time letting go of those dreams. As I struggled to accept the reality of what your body would let you do, you have quietly guided me, teaching me, inspiring me. Slowly I am learning that there are dreams bigger than learning to make an apple pie or play a cello. You have taught me to slow down, to wait, to leave room. As I have slowed down to meet you where you are I have been able to witness joy, peace and love more pure and intense than anything I had ever imagined. The strength that you share each day in your vulnerability is a gift that I never would have picked but in some weird way Claire, it has helped to save us from being normal. Without you taking me into Rettland, I never would have known just how varied and beautiful the world is. Thank you Claire, for hanging in there with me as I am still learning. I might not always remember all of the details, pick up on your subtle clues but I promise you that I will not give up, I will keep trying and keep fighting, with you and for you as we learn more about life here in Rettland.

I love you to the moon and back, love Mom.IMG_3407

 

6 thoughts on “Dear Claire,

  1. maren says:

    I’m not sure why, but I have tears in my eyes. Maybe it’s because I’m thinking of all those initial dreams I had of and for Leah. Maybe it’s because I’m tired. Maybe it’s because I love Claire so much. Maybe it’s because it was so wonderful to talk to you this morning. Maybe it’s because I’m so happy to have met you at all and living in Rettland is the reason I did. I’m not sure. But…the tears are there. (And they are mostly happy ones.) Happiest of happy birthdays to Claire. EIGHT IS GREAT!!

  2. Dyna Mendoza says:

    Such a beautiful birthday letter to our beautiful Claire!!
    Happy Birthday sweet girl!
    – You gals are an inspiration!! xoxo

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