When You Write it Down

There really is something to writing things down. If you write down what you are eating it becomes clear why you feel like junk and aren’t loosing weight. If you track your expenses and your cash flow you can see where your money is going and make more informed choices going forward. Or you can blog often and it appears that indeed, you aren’t crazy, your life is. That is where I am at the moment.

Today has encompassed so much. It started with Claire turning more purple than normal and for longer. While both of the girls were at school I got to go meet up with Jared and the real estate agent that is helping us to buy our very own little slice of California. While we were going over the HOA stuff Claire’s aid sent me this fantastic picture of how they were making the most of the rainy day.

 The day also included getting to work with the phenomenal people that are putting together a day to raise money for Katie’s Clinic as well as a good report from my physical therapist that I am actually healing, hooray and hooray! Chloe didn’t drive me absolutely crazy and once it was time to watch Cinderella I got the pleasure of watching Claire’s face light up as she soaked in the story all while Chloe hid under my blanket, afraid of the cat. It was the perfect end to a rainy afternoon. Once Jared was home I ran out to check one more thing at the new place before we signed off on it. I turned the corner and this is what I saw, I thought it was breathtaking.

After poking around one more time I went to get pizza as I had no greater aspirations than to do nothing for the rest of the night. While I waited for my order to be prepared a man walked in with his son. The boy was so vibrant, his smile lit up the room, however I suspect that he was non-verbal. The dad played with him while they waited, clearly he was just trying to keep the boy from getting into trouble. As I watched this I was overcome with grief. I was able to hold it together until I walked out but I sobbed while I drove home. How I wish that I could play with Claire like that. I long for her to be able to walk even if it means keeping her from walking away or out the door. I feel ashamed to be jealous of another family that is living with a disabled child but in that moment I was. So I guess that pretty much sums up my rather typical day, ironic right?

One thought on “When You Write it Down

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