The last October that I remember enjoying was 2005. At the top of the list of fun activities was the harvest at V. Sattui including a lovely picnic under a lush tree, stopping by Prager (still thankful Uncle Jack gave us that tip!), walking across the Golden Gate Bridge and the day before Claire was born, I had the most amazing bowl of pumpkin soup of my life at the Ritz Carlton in Half Moon Bay. Then there was the birth of Claire, that was a really good thing too! Sad that it is 2011 and it has been that long since I really enjoyed the month of October, my favorite month of the year. I have been thinking about this a lot. I go back and forth but I am making my final decision, as of today, I am done celebrating rett syndrome awareness month. We had so much fun joining in on the celebration over the last weekend. We went to the NHS and saw our wonderful rett family. We got the incredible news that despite getting a lot taller Claire’s BMI has stayed the same for a year (in rettland this is like winning the gold medal) We saw two amazing doctors that both said good job and not much more. We went to the 2nd Annual Nor Cal Srollathon and were overwhelmed by the support of so many that we are on this journey with. That was all wonderful and we absolutely love our rett family, I do not know where I would be without you guys! But Oct. 15th will mark the day that we got the call 4 years ago, the call we were never expecting, the one when they said that we should make an appointment to come back and talk since the test for rett syndrome came back positive. I will not spend an hour in the shower crying this month. I love October too much! I have let rett define me for too long. I know that it is a part of me and I don’t want to change that, but I don’t want it to define me either. I am sure that there will be some random day in December when I can’t take it and the weight comes crashing down. Then I will hide and sob, but not now. While October is the official awareness month, I feel like I am aware of it all year long and constantly doing what I can to educate people. So this month I am taking off. I think I will start the celebration with another bowl of the pumpkin soup that I just made. After all, isn’t that what October is all about? I will share one pic from our big fat celebration of rett syndrome awareness, this girl is amazing and that is sorta something to be celebrated every day.