Really Big Trees

Today I felt like crap. I think it is a combination on allergies, Chrone’s disease and Rett syndrome with an element of toddler and oh yeah, it’s Monday. Chloe thought it was so much fun to take a nap she pretty much jumped on her bed all the way through it. On the bright side, I didn’t have to wake her up in order to go get Claire from OT. It was sheer joy to walk in to see Claire working with her OT, sitting with her legs crossed on the floor, straight as an arrow and working on drinking from a cup with a big smile on her face. Really, other than me just being tired beyond belief, the day was going along rather well. Claire pushed Chloe around in her wheel chair and walked out to the car. By the time we got packed into the car, it was just more than two hours until dinner, what to do, what to do. I knew that if we went home it would be a long two hours, but if we drove in circles and killed an hour in the process of getting there, we could have some fun before dinner and maybe I would make it. To test this out without committing too much, I first drove down by the water. Claire smiled at the ocean, closed her eyes and check out, perfect, now if I could just get Chloe down! Sure enough she dropped on Hwy 1 so it was off into the enchanted forest, or Hwy 9 as some people call it. It was amazing! As I started to soak in how beautiful light is as it filters through the trees it occurred to me, wow, I can see the forest AND the trees. Cliche I know. But really, I have driven this road before numb and not noticed either. As the girls slept and I enjoyed the winding road that went through the towering trees I got to think a bit. I love that I live somewhere that my natural surroundings give me so much beautiful perspective on life. Granted, my life is not easy and I am not just blowing my trials off in some sort of trite manner. But I am starting to see it in more of a big picture sort of a way. While I wish that I could have been home, fulfilling my delusional desire to cover our table in glitter in the process of hand making valentines for the kindergarten class, I was driving around to give Claire’s body a break after a long successful day of school and therapy. Today, I am alright with that. Most likely because there was less screaming and more smiling. At the bottom of it all, the trees are really big and quite wonderful and it leads me to believe that somehow, so is my life.

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