So I guess this is normal

For the last year I have really been trying to slow down and not operate in crisis mode. With everything that happened so quickly after Claire was born, my mom, moving to Arizona, moving back to CA 6 months later, starting early intervention and getting a diagnosis, I think that I felt like I really needed to slow down. Who can keep up at that pace? Then we got in a car accident had a baby and a few surgeries. Then it was summer and then school started with a new team and now we are into IEP season. I keep saying that after the next thing life should settle down. So as I go through the days, just putting one foot in front of the other over and over, I wonder how can I keep up at this pace. Then it dawned on me, as I was talking with a friend about Claire’s daily care and the lack of margin, how there is more stuff to work on then there is hours in the day, it isn’t going to settle down for a while, a long while. Honestly this thought feels like a big punch in the gut. I really would like to have one of those normal lives where people do things like shower and think about what they want to eat or which book they should read. But it looks like my normal is just different. More of a shower every third day if I am lucky and grab some sort of protein bar to consume as I go to therapy and crash at night normal. It isn’t that bad, it just wasn’t what I expected.

2 thoughts on “So I guess this is normal

  1. I was thinking about you this morning during my morning walk with the girls. I was thinking about how you are always thinking of others and how much you do for your family. You are an amazing person, wife, and mother. I would like to say life will slow down, but this is now our life and we can only do our best. But, I think you are doing your best and that's all that matters. xoxo

  2. mj says:

    it's not italy, it's holland. 🙂 have you ever read that story? i think i'll get you some perfume for your birthday. then you can shower every 4th day or so and be juuuuust fine.

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