Sweetness

I am again in awe of life and how ironic it has been for me lately. A doctor noticed that Claire’s spine has started to curve a bit so we were referred to a specialist to monitor the situation. The trip to the doctors office was the perfect storm of circumstances. My wrist was hurting, Claire needed to be in her chair (instead of our double stroller), Chloe was over tired and woke up as soon as we got out of the car. Then we waited forever, at least 30 minutes, while trying to feed two children, it felt like forever. Then we went back and waited more. After the first interview with the nurse practitioner it was decided that we needed an x-ray. Thankfully by that time the cavalry had come. Jared helped Claire to stand for the x-ray and back into a room we went to wait. Finally the doctor came in with nothing helpful to say. As we left I was so upset that Claire had to jump through so many hoops, all for somebody who didn’t get her. He actually recommended a “real” wheelchair for her so that she could play with the wheels. I didn’t know what to be mad at, him for such a crazy recommendation or me for being the pessimist that assumed that she couldn’t benefit from reaching the wheels if she wanted. It had been a long day, I am still emotionally exhausted from Christmas, and I had just spent almost three hours at LPCH and had little to show for it but over tired girls. As I got onto the freeway Claire started to get more unhappy so I reluctantly put on “her” music. Her favorite song in the whole world is “Sweetness”. As the song started she turned her head to look at me in the mirror with that slight “Mona Lisa” smile that she has. Then the best happy sound came out of her. I love it when a favorite song comes on and all my problems melt away and I love it more that Claire has this. As we drove home, Claire soaked in the beauty of the forest and bobbed her head to the music. I pray that some day she can dance to her favorite music on this earth, that day will truly be sweetness.

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